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Do it yourself defeating actions essay

“Self-defeating behavior is the idea that at times people knowingly do things that will cause them to are unsuccessful or take them trouble. It truly is defined as “any deliberate or perhaps intentional behavior that has very clear, definitely or perhaps probably negative effects on the personal or within the self’s projects.  (Wikipedia: Self-Defeating Behavior) The concept of and theories lurking behind why a person behaves in ways which might be self-defeating is usually one that has become examined by many psychological techniques over time. From this essay Let me define and explain self-defeating behaviours, all their origins, triggers and reasons behind maintaining them, together with instances of such behaviors.

Subsequently Let me focus on two approaches to dealing with self-defeating behaviours, incorporating comparison. I will then simply give my personal thoughts as a student counsellor. The origins of self-defeating behaviour is often traced back to childhood. A single trigger might be constant critique whereby the child is informed that he can never do anything right, is useless and so forth.

This can cause the child doing self-defeating behavior that reephasizes their resulting poor self-image. If the parent(s) are seen as the utmost important people in the kid’s life, anxiety about disappointing all of them, or of not being able to meet their requirements or anticipations can result in growing self-defeating actions. The child might not try to strive a task intended for fear of failing. Too much emphasis placed on competition with other children in the family members for example , might reinforce emotions of failing; of dropping and could create the reaction of freezing up or self-sabotage if under pressure as the. In essence therefore , learned responses and patterns of behaviour and reactions create a program of the kid’s self-perception showing how best to adapt to and manage family requirements, in order to kind and maintain protected bonds with his/her parent(s). However , once wholly subconscious, the programmes can be very hard to recognise and the older a person turns into, the significantly less relative ‘benefit’ their presence provides.

For instance , the woman whopresents with being unable to assert very little and ask that her demands be met, at work or at home, acknowledges through remedy that since a child, asking immediately for what she needed or wanted was deemed wholly unacceptable by simply her parents. The notion that she was selfish was reinforced consequently and as such your woman sought to achieve approval from her parents by ignoring her very own needs. Suppression and repression of her needs allowed her to feel recognized by her parents. Simply through recognising the heritage of this child years programme, can easily she as an adult, let go of the past and alter the deeply embedded conduct and solve present day self-defeating behaviour. The origins of self-defeating conduct are not associated solely to childhood. A person encountering any disturbing event or situation can create self-defeating behaviour; the big event or condition having sensitised the person to ‘overreact’ to the stimuli that are regarded as sufficiently similar to the original event. During the inside it could be perceived as necessary self-protection, the behaviour is non-e the less self-defeating.

An example could be the war seasoned suffering from PTSD, while all their reaction of snorkeling for shield whenever a plane is noticed overhead can be understandable, this makes no rational feeling in their present moment and situation. One more origin of self-defeating behavior is linked to substances, interactions or past activities that in the past have got lowered anxiety or anxiety levels. Illustrations would be ingesting, drug employ, gambling, abnormal shopping or sex addiction. While the activity alleviates anxiety in the moment, ultimately it stops positive advancement and what began as a means of anxiety release ends up being self-defeating. There are also those people that possess nature that in the event that not resolved, could develop into self-defeating conduct. A shy person may avoid sociable situations and therefore on a personal and professional level they might not reach their potential. Experiences that result in limiting thoughts continue in a person’s brain and when confronted with similar conditions, the old encounters are instantly relived. Those experiences and reactions seemed relevant at that time but not necessarily and so for various other situations.

They may be no longer valid but they continue to influence judgements, behaviours and decisions. “The opinion you own of your self today considerably reflects the experiences of your earlier. These influences, which may have already been less than confident, set in motion the network of habits, thoughts, attitudes and beliefs that remain consistent with our low self-concept.  (Lieberman, webpage 2, 1997) Those who present with self-defeating behaviour can intentionally or unintentionally participate in a negative way of thinking as well as adverse behaviours basically against their finest interests, resulting in self-sabotage, defeat and failing. A negative discussion has set their head into sabotaging personal goals and screwing up to reach total potential. Samples of self-defeating behaviour are: firstly not completing tasks that are started; focusing on why the work cannot be accomplished rather than how you can achieve completion. Secondly, a feeling of helplessness and being overwhelmed can result in non-completion of a activity, due to having felt extremely excited about task management or idea which then ends in feeling confused. Some will refuse and deny tracks or guidance that would profit attainment with their goal while some will constantly talk negatively to and about themselves.

For some people a project will be began only to result in procrastination, before you start other projects; all still left unfinished. A few will create self-defeat by being past due, poor attendance and performance, and some may become hooked on substances or habits including gambling or perhaps eating disorders. In essence therefore , self-defeating behaviours can manifest in lots of ways, from expressing ‘no’ on your child and then giving in a quarter-hour later, expressing you are giving up alcohol, then getting together with a friend for the beer, to prioritising a to-do list only to start at the bottom. These types of aspects lead on to the problem of how come someone would preserve self-defeating behaviour/s. The reasons pertaining to maintaining options varied and often complex. Some individuals view themselves as being weak to do anything to alter their scenario. In doing so it ensures paralysis which is a strong reason for undertaking nothing. In thinking they have no choice and even in some cases blaming someone else for behaviour, a person might provide themselves with highly effective reasons for absolving themselves coming from all personal responsibility.

Those who perceive themselves as victims enable total denial of responsibility for his or her behaviour. You will find those who can pretend all their behaviour has evolved for the better, just for something to ‘go wrong’, thereby providing them with permission to revert back in the self-defeating behaviour since in their look at then, ‘I tried and it didn’t work’. Individuals as a types inherently dread change; they will becomeaccustomed towards the well-worn and well known. A habit needs no special effort or thought, although change takes a period of realignment and the liberating of the familiar. Many for that reason will resist change. For some, relinquishing a particular behaviour, although a self-defeating one, gives forth dread. Two techniques which can be placed on treating customers with self-defeating behaviour are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and the Psychodynamic approach. For the purpose of this composition the issue of low self-esteem resulting in lack of assertiveness will be used.

“People are more likely to behave in a self-defeating or destructive manner the moment either there are threats made to their spirit or when they have low self-esteem.  (Wikipedia: Self-defeating behaviour) CBT’s roots control from the development of behaviour remedy in the early 20th hundred years, the development of intellectual therapy inside the 1960’s as well as the consequent the use of the two and it was developed in the 1970’s by simply Aaron Big t. Beck, the founder of cognitive remedy. “Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a psychotherapeutic approach: a talking therapy that details dysfunctional thoughts, behaviors and cognitions by using a goal-orientated, organized process.  (Wikipedia: Intellectual Behavioral Therapy) Self-esteem is often at the core of numerous psychological issues and it can reveal in major depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions, and lack of assertiveness, be it at your home, in the workplace or in interpersonal situations. “The major cause of poor self-pride is earlier negative development that is the product of judgemental parents.  (Hadley & Staudacher, site 152, 2001) CBT will teach the client to improve his/her self-esteem by first recognising the partnership between their thoughts, thoughts and conduct.

In discovering and becoming mindful of these negative automatic thoughts, discovering the underlying errors in their considering and consequently rewriting the thoughts towards a more balanced way, the process of change can commence. Not only will thinking towards a more positive method increase self-esteem but so too would learning how to say ‘no’ to points the client does not wish to perform, as well as record their talents and accomplishments and keeping them attainable to read frequently. In the first treatment lessons, client and therapist could compile a listing of aspects the consumer wishes CBT to address and overcome. The client who lacks assertiveness would likely have self-doubt about his/her capacity tocompetently and effectively master situations necessitating assertiveness. The internal critic might create an avoidance of challenges, opportunities and developments if left unaltered. Essentially, CBT gives the client with a bespoke plan using relaxation, imagery and behavioural physical exercises to change bad belief. CBT would give attention to how the consumer interprets their particular experiences as the deciding factor of who they are, in contrast to simply taking a look at what they experience.

In identifying, challenging and replacing adverse or self-defeating thought patterns, CBT will seek to replace constraining and unfavorable thought patterns and behaviours with more helpful and positive ones in order to alter conduct and emotions. Psychodynamic remedy which started out Freudian psychoanalytic theory can be founded on the basis that a client’s presenting concern has it is roots placed in their subconscious mind. The less informed a client is of these subconscious roots and factors, a lot more control they will exert and the more likely a customer is to continue to be stuck in self-defeating conduct. Psychodynamic therapy also suggests that our individuality are shaped by the developing stages all of us go through in childhood. The goal of psychodynamic healing is to assist in the client’s self-awareness and their understanding of the influence in the past on the current self-defeating behaviour. That enables your customer to examine conflicting conflicts which may have manifested in the presenting issue.

Psychodynamic remedy will employ several approaches. With regards the customer with self-pride issues, the therapist may possibly consider attachment theory since pioneered by John Bowlby. He true that the experience of the earliest provides a child varieties with its caregiver/s has a enduring impact over the person’s existence. Where the formation of protect attachments has not occurred, self-defeating behaviour can result. Method the psychodynamic therapist might employ can be free-association to be able to explore inside conflicts and issues. “In free affiliation, psychoanalytic sufferers are asked to relate whatever comes into their minds during the analytic session, and not to censor their very own thoughts. This method is intended to aid the patient find out more on what they thinks and feels, within an atmosphere of non-judgemental interest and acceptance.  (Wikipedia: Free Association) Those clientele who usually gain one of the most from psychodynamic therapy are often those with a desire to find out more about how all their mind performs and their inner life. This canfacilitate self-reflection, an awareness of and succeeding dealing with weak or unpleasant emotions and a desire to have honesty and truth.

As the two methods share the similarity of seeking to reduce the client’s symptoms, their therapeutic perspective is pretty different and so they are essentially very different. CBT is a relatively brief remedy which is very instructional in nature, with homework as being a significant feature. It is a very structured remedy, focusing on the current rather than the previous. Contrary to psychodynamic therapy will not place the client-therapist relationship as being a main focus. Psychodynamic remedies are less methodized and the consumer, not the therapist sets the plan for the session by talking about no matter what they would like to go over. It also targets the past plus the unconscious operations, with the target being to utilise this technique to assist together with the presenting concern. Psychodynamic remedy seeks to discover why the customer displays the self-defeating behaviour he/she really does, by discovering deeper, frequently unconscious causes of the conduct, whereas CBT does not. The goal of CBT should be to attempt to minimize the present issue causing enduring as quickly as possible by simply training the client’s head to replace negative, self-defeating thought patterns and behaviours with more positive and helpful kinds. Some would say that psychodynamic therapy is far better for dealing with many issues, so as to obtain lasting transform, whereas advocates of CBT argue that their particular briefer strategies are just as effective.

Strong points of CBT are the course of treatment is brief and it may be even more suited to those who prefer short-run, directive treatment who in addition have a willingness to carry on practicing coping skills and doing homework both during and after treatment. However , it is not a ‘quick fix’ therapy and for individuals who are not able or prepared to make the necessary work during and long after the procedure has ended, it may not be a powerful option. To avoid self-defeating conduct from coming back, it is vital which the client is constantly on the practice and develop the skill sets he/she provides acquired. Talents of psychodynamic therapy are that it makes it possible for deep self-reflection, and is led by the customer, who has you a chance to discover more about themselves and their inside world. It may not be suitable for individuals who prefer more structured, directed session, together with the therapist dealing with them mutually to set and achieve goals, in a short time frame.

Inside my limited watch as a student counsellor I possess learnt that under the ‘umbrella’ of mindset, there are several various approaches, incorporating CBT and psychodynamics, which all hold the fundamental purpose of assisting a client’s mental distress to facilitate personal growth, self-awareness and positive progression. At this time of my personal training I am able to certainly enjoy qualities, strengths and weaknesses from every single approach that we have studied in order to find myself driven at present into a more integrative approach, as I feel that each approach offers valid and useful elements and tactics within this. While the psychodynamic approach facilitates an arena for profound introspection and private insight via often lengthy forgotten, overpowered, oppressed and unconscious aspects, will not perhaps offer practical ‘tools’ which might provide a client to help navigate through existence.

CBT, like a more technique and target orientated procedure provides equipment for the here and now, but perhaps lessens the ability pertaining to deeper and perhaps more profound self-awareness. Hence there being, in my limited look at, merit in adopting areas of both strategies. In this dissertation I have introduced the concept of self-defeating behaviours, described and described them and their origins, causes and reasons for maintaining them. I therefore compared two approaches: CBT and the psychodynamic approach, through utilising the example of low self-esteem ultimately causing lack of assertiveness, to demonstrate their very own respective methods to dealing with self-defeating behaviour. I then compared both approaches and provided an overview.


Lieberman, D. L. (1997). Fast Analysis. New york city. St Martin’s Griffin Hadley. J & Staudacher, C. (2001). A hypnotic approach for Transform. New Delhi, India. Modern age Books Wikipedia: Wikipedia: Wikipedia:


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