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Book review in don t declare yes when you wish ...

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My own book review can be on ‘Don’t say yes when you want to say no’, by Dr . Herbert Fensterheim and Jean Baer. In, this guide, the author angles his arguments in the need for assertiveness to get achieving a person’s goals and then for personal satisfaction as well. The book is somewhat more of a workbook that tutorials the reader in assertiveness tactics so that they can boost various areas of their existence such as function, friendships and relationships. The book also helps bring about significant positive within one’s behaviour by employing the assertiveness approaches on the do it yourself.

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Thesis Statement: ‘Don’t say yes when you want to express no’ can be useful for bringing about an improvement in your behaviour since it discusses several techniques of assertiveness that help the target audience to attain goals, stand up on their own and change unwanted habits with out coming off as pushy or hostile.

The book is based on assertiveness schooling, a field of expertise of the behavior therapy, which aims to help people stand for themselves, while keeping a balance between passiveness and aggressiveness.

The goal of the book is to lead to a change in the reader’s existence and help them communicate all their thoughts, feelings and needs in a positive method, and result in changes in their very own unwanted conduct patterns as well. The author accomplishes the purposeof the book by giving instances of several visual images techniques, that may later be used in a hierarchical manner so that one can come out of his shell and generate progress. Pertaining to changing conduct, the author lies emphasis on the thoughts or situations that accompany the behavior, then will help the reader control these thoughts, and bring about changes in the scenario leading to the unwanted behavior. Thus, the writer achieves the purpose of the publication i. e bringing about positive changes in your behaviour applying assertiveness teaching.

As mentioned above, the author uses several assertiveness training methods to bring about improvements within the person himself, that could lead to positive changes in different areas of his life.

The author states that difference in behaviour patterns can bring about difference in the thoughts as well as the perception an individual has of him self. The author as well repeatedly says that these behaviours may seem artificial or forced in the beginning, but are very essential if a change is required.

Just before explaining the many assertiveness methods, the author requests the reader to acknowledge what kind of assertiveness problems they face currently- unique an inability to talk well with others, or perhaps being a pushover so as to gain the ‘respect’ of others. Based on this, you is asked to consider what kind of changes he would like to produce, thus assisting him create his assertiveness goals.

The author presents several circumstance studies in the book wherein he discusses a lot of clients with assertiveness complications. Treatment consists of identifying the condition, identifying the cause of the problem, developing a list of desired goals to be obtained. The various treatment methods used in restorative sessions happen to be role-play, creation techniques, believed stopping, leisure techniques and systematic desensitization.

Function Play: Often , the therapist (theauthor), partcipates in role-play along with his clients, in order that they are better prepared to face their scenarios. In part play, the customer acts away a situation that he has certain complications with, and the specialist assists the customer by offering psychological support. This helps the client gain insight into the problem.

Visual images techniques: The therapist helps the client envision himself in most situations in his life. The case is recreated using the thoughts of the client and the therapist. This is completed examine the thoughts, thoughts and behaviours of the customer that take place in such scenarios.

Thought Stopping: This can be a method of intellectual psychology in which unwanted thoughts such as worries and obsessions can be controlled by declaring the word ‘stop’ aloud whenever these thoughts occur. One other method comes with punishment, where the client punishes himself by simply casuing him pain (like inducing gentle electrical shocks) whenever the unwanted thoughts occur.

Systematic Desensitization: This method comes with identifying the source of anxiety, in that case developing a hierarchy of desired goals to help the client face his fears gradually.

Rest Techniques: They may be any strategies or methods that help a person attain a state of peace, and reduce levels of anxiety, pressure or aggression.

The author also examines how assertiveness training techniques can be used to cause changes in one’s behaviour, obtain control over unnecessary thoughts and help in dealing with depressive disorder.

Through the entire book, the writer explains how this method is at contrast to Sigmond Freud’s Psychoanalysis, and exactly how it can be good for bring about changes in behaviour when compared with Psychoanalysis.

Strengths of the book:

The book reveals various situations in everyday activities, where the techniques discussed could be applied. Every single scenario is definitely presented as case research, wherein mcdougal talks about his clients with problems of assertiveness in various areas of all their lives, including marriage to profession. The treating the consumers is also talked about in wonderful detail. The book also contains exercises in assertiveness training techniques for the reader and hence works as a workbook as well. Therefore, the book is helpful in people facing complications in different spheres in their lives.

Weak points of the book:

The author’s views on ‘treating’ homosexual persons is questionable. The author tries to alter the sexuality of people by making them action and dress according to the traditional gender tasks they are anticipated to play. Occasionally, the author even talks about engaging in intimacy with prostitutes to be able to have knowledge in that location, and thus subscribe to the typical conduct of the male or female that is anticipated. However , it has to be kept in mind that after the book was posted, the culture was not accepting of the LGBTQ community as it is now.

Conclusion: The book is incredibly helpful and of practical relevance to certain issues the readers face. The situation studies with treatments reviewed in detail are usually very useful. The writer also implies certain exercises to the target audience to apply in several areas of all their lives.

The only problem with the publication was the author’s views and treatment of gay people. It really is unfortunate a person’s lovemaking orientation can be thought of as a ‘deviant condition’ that ought to be ‘treated. ‘

Other than that, the book is incredibly well written. There are many illustrations as flow graphs that explain the cycle of the occurance of specific behaviours. This helps the reader gain a better understanding of what the publisher is trying to convey. The book is very helpful to anyone who wishes to assert themselves more to reach their desired goals. From the perspective of Psychology, it is used to the college student of behavioural and intellectual psychology who wishes to know the elements that maintan certain unwanted behaviours and the steps involved with altering these behaviours so that they become appealing.

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